One of the most important things that happens in life that we have no control over is who our parents will be. Will they have the capacity to love us, to sacrifice for us, to be able to say no to us when we need to hear no.
The luckiest thing that has happened to me in my life was that I was born to two wonderful, parents. First of all they loved each other, showing me what love looked like, even though they might argue, it always worked out, nobody left, they just worked things out. Second of all they respected each other. Dad always said how smart mom was, because of this I waited until I found a man that could appreciate my intelligence, and I see the same pattern in all of the girls born to this family. They have found husbands who appreciate them and accept that they are equal partners. I can also see that the men in this family have not hesitated to take a smart woman as their wife. I believe that this is part of the legacy of Mae and Harold.
Dad always thought that mom was beautiful; it is a wonderful thing to hear your 88 year old father talk about how beautiful your 80 year old mother is, not was, but still is. Dad talked to me about this in his last weeks. He talked about how he would not have had the success that he had in farming without her help. That is love. It would not top the best seller's as a romance novel, but that is what true love is. I cannot begin to tell you how precious those last few weeks of my father's life were to me.
They say that the best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother, and Dad certainly did this.
Mom would never turn her back on her children, she may not have agreed with you but you always knew that she loved you and would never stay mad at you. She would never think of not being there for you if you needed her. But she didn't barge in and tell you how you should do things either, she respected all of us and let us led our own lives.
Mom was wise, and knew how to listen, and how to ask the right questions to help you figure out things for yourself. She did not buy a dishwasher until I left home so that we would wash dishes together every night and talk about things. With out these talks my life could have turned out much differently. I know that I am a better mother because I had a great mother. I learned from her how to listen to my kids, not to over- react, but how instead to just listen and help them find their own answers.
My mom was one of the kindest people I have ever met. She would never say or do anything that would hurt us. She was unselfish with her children and always put our needs above her own.
Mom never needed to compete with her children as I have seen some mothers do, she was always happy to let us shine when it was our time. Because of this we are wise enough to let our children shine when it is their time. Nor did she need to live her dreams through us, but instead allowed us to decide what we wanted our lives to be for ourselves.
Sometimes the wealth of a family has nothing to do with a bank account or things but rather lies in the way that we teach our children to relate to the people they love. I know how truly lucky I am to have been born to my parents. That luck will be with me all the days of my life, and I believe that it will pass down through the generations to all of the descendants of Mae and Harold Fortna.
